ghasp-its-her:

write-it-motherfuckers:

cj-riker:

write-it-motherfuckers:

dawnoftheagez:

write-it-motherfuckers:

dawnoftheagez:

write-it-motherfuckers:

Person A: “Are you going to tell me why exactly my apartment is filled with stuffed animals? I literally can’t see the fucking floor.”

Person B: “There was a car accident outside.”

Person A: “……”

Person B: “……”

Person A: “ Yeah, ok, gonna need a liiiittle more information then that.”

OMG ARE THEY PICKING UP ITEMS LEFT FOR THE VICTIMS????

I….I hadn’t even thought of that tbh. 

Do you want the actual story? 

uhm yes @write-it-motherfuckers

please tell me what you were thinking

Basically what happened, was that A few of us were staying with a friend who lived in a pretty upscale area, right across from the beach. She goes out to buy some stuff mostly vodka and chocolate and whilst shes gone there was an accident with two trucks out the front. 

One of them was full of stuffed toys for kids and babies, and the other was full of beer. 

Whilst the accident was pretty bad and both trucks were pretty mangled, it was actually a very straightforward situation, so the police didn’t have to do much else other than keep the traffic moving around the accident while it got cleaned up. 

During this, my friends and I, all still at least a little bit drunk from the night before and very tired and hungry, called out to one of the truck drivers, asking what would happen to the toys. Apparently, as they had essentially been “Contaminated”  they were no longer fit to be sold for children, and as they weren’t made with fabrics that were safe for pets, they couldn’t just be discounted either.

Sensing an opportunity, two of the cops who had been pushed into helping clean up and bag all the toys, told us that we could take as many as we could carry, so long as we didn’t get to close to the actual trucks. Which was smart, because that was a fuck load of glass and twisted hot metal.

Instantly one of my friends goes bolting upstairs and across the hall, where the brother of the friend who owns the apartment, lives. He and his mates are all very annoyed at being woken up at 5am, but the second they hear why, they bolt for their shoes and follow us down.

20 minutes later, we had taken almost half of what had been in the truck to begin with, and filled both apartments as much as possible. The police and firefighters that had just shown up, were incredibly amused at seeing this group of half drunk people in varying states of dress, run off with so many plush toys, and relieved that their work load has lessened.

When we left her brother and his mates, they were all giggling and sprawled over soft toys, very very cheerful and happy they had been woken at the arse crack of dawn. We then contentedly sprawled over the mass of toys we had filled our friends apartment with, some of us drifting off whilst half buried.

Eventually our friend returned, and essentially had the reaction stated above. Twas a fun day.

We gave most of the toys away btw. Made a day of it and made sure to warn them where we had gotten them.

Reblogging this cuz of that golden story

Ahaha Glad you enjoyed it Darling.

This is both hilarious and has a lack of negativity. Reblogging.

grimehands:

luckylesbiano:

spacefroggity:

luckylesbiano:

orange juice is the superior beverage bc it makes ur tongue feel like u ate a bunch of ants which reminds me of my childhood when I would put ants in my mouth and eat em except this time it tastes good too

Hey op I think you’re probably allergic to citrus?

is. this not what oj is supposed to make ur tongue feel like