I really can’t
your life is uprooted every 20 years in galactic-scale wars caused by a neverending blood feud between two tribes of space wizards
choose your preferred form of government:
a) laughably ineffectual and corrupt bureaucracy
b) fascist dictatorship controlled by space warlocks
c) exploitation by evil crime gangster who is probably also a slugthere are no other choices, sorry
“Hey have you heard from Gary? He hasn’t answered my emails for weeks”
“Oh yeah, his whole planet got blown up by the genocidal cyborg sorcerer who controls our entire military”
“But Samuel, what if I am one of the space wizards???” Let’s examine your options:
- abducted as a baby and raised by monks, then die a 35-year-old virgin at the hands of a goddamn robot with tuberculosis
- hunted down and shot to death by grunts in stupid helmets because space wizards are illegal right now (again)
- go through a goth phase, then your eyes get all yucky and one of the monks finds you and cuts your head off
- end up in a cult led by some evil wrinkled assface in a bathrobe who shoots lightning at you when he’s mad
Also most of the wildlife seems to be ravenous carnivores with tentacles and/or 6-inch teeth and every urban area has roughly 6,942 assassins per square kilometer